Dystopia -地獄郷-
by Phantom Shyraz
Summary: It is easy to achieve utopia, but sustaining the utopian state is difficult. Which is why it is relatively easy to fall into dystopia where pain and distress can continually plague a person. A story of aftermath and how Shinichi faced this new change with Kaito there with him. Sequel/Prequel to Utopia.


Disclaimer: The works of Detective Conan and Magic Kaito belongs to Gosho Aoyama-sensei.

A/N: A sequel/prequel to Utopia. Not sure how to classify this seeing as it's an amalgamation of both (I wasn't able to develop the story for a sequel or a prequel, not enough scenes). There's possibly a pairing though it wasn't intended (I didn't write a pairing into it but you readers might see it). This story is particularly dark as it deals with some mental issues (?). Seeing as how Shinichi is now...well...immobile, there's bound to be issues, and most likely PTSD-like issues...Also, I'm no psychologist so don't flame me for the incorrect portrayal.

If you haven't read Utopia, I suggest you do that. Although you can probably read this on its own.

On a side not, _Italics are flashback/past events_.

* * *

 **Dystopia -地獄郷-**

Wind rustled the branches on the peach blossom, dislodging loose pink petals and raining onto Shinichi sitting below. He forewent his usual seat, instead preferring the feel of grass underneath him. In a sense, it made him feel more _normal_ , that he was just relaxing on a normal afternoon.

As the wind picked up, more petals fell, obstructing Shinichi's view of the book he had in his hands. The tinge of pink in his view was reminiscent of the event a year ago. The reddish tinge to his vision, the overly warm atmosphere.

 _There was smoke everywhere he looked, the heat licked his skin even through the torn fabric of his shirt. The pain across his back prevented him from moving. No matter how many times he looked back, the grey concrete slab was still firm across his body. Coughing into his hands, he tries to reduce the inhalation of the questionable smoke in the room. All around him were chemicals of all sorts and the combination of them would definitely yield nasty effects._

' _Not that I'll leave this place unscathed anyways.' The only good thing that came out of this was he was alone in this venture. Well, mostly alone seeing as he did leave a message with a certain someone to pass on a message just in case he never made it back to Beika alive._

A soft knock on the door frame snapped Shinichi from his momentary lapse into the past. His face must have revealed something of his thoughts as a pair of concerned amethyst stared back.

"I'm fine." He voiced out, slipping a bookmark at the page he was supposed to be reading but he could not remember what the book had been about. "Is lunch ready?"

Kaito approached him, feet silent even after months of inactivity as KID who had officially retired as of three months ago, when the last gem was finally returned. He took up position behind the wheelchair, pushing it forward ever so slightly to signal for Shinichi to move up.

"Alright, alright. Wait a moment. I don't want to give you a reason to baby me more than required." Shinichi carefully lifted himself onto the softly padded seat with his legs as unresponsive as ever, dangling freely, as Shinichi makes himself more comfortable. Kaito seemed to know when Shinichi was comfortable and he maneuvered them back indoors.

The kitchen smelled of home cooking mixed with the sweetness of baking.

"You left the stove unattended?" Shinichi took back control of his wheelchair, positioning himself at the place set at the table.

Kaito shrugged as he took the bowls to be filled with rice. The steam from the miso soup rose high into the air, swirling in elegant patterns in front of Shinichi's eyes. The murky mixture below danced between the seaweed and tofu.

 _Cold water splashed onto Shinichi's face inside the laboratory. Strapped onto a metallic chair, Shinichi was severely lacking in the movement department. Throughout the ordeal, Shinichi kept to snarky remarks lacking in information. They wanted to know things that are dangerous. They wanted to know about Sherry. They wanted to know how he survived everything despite ingesting a poison designed to kill. They wanted to know who was on the inside and who was leaking their information._

 _None of the things They wanted to know were things Shinichi would be willing to divulge. And so, They resorted to drastic measures. Testing him over and over again, taking blood samples in higher frequency than he could replenish. Using methods that inflict pain, cause exhaustion, ensuring he would be robbed of physical strength._

 _But his mind became more active than before. His mind became a vault the kept the information safe inside. No matter the types of question or how they were asked, Shinichi said nothing._

A tap on the table drew Shincihi's attention towards the bowl of rice. Thanking Kaito with a nod, he tucked into the food with the usual "itadakimasu". Kaito smiled in kind and began his own portion of food. Though there was a strange gleam in the amethyst eyes that signaled Kaito saw something abnormal in Shinichi again.

He needed to diffuse the atmosphere, "Where are my parents?" he asked. Kaito pointed at the calendar hanging on the wall. There was a small red plane drawn on the small white square stating his parents had flown out of Japan. "Huh…"

Kaito cocked his head to one side, quirking an eyebrow up in question.

"I thought they would never leave." Under Kaito's insistence, Shinichi had taken to reply verbally instead of hand gestures. When they started living together, Kaito had commented how the silence was unnerving and insisted Shinichi to reply with his voice. "Hopefully, this will be a longer trip than before. As much as I love them, they can be a bit overbearing at times. And I think 'kaa-san was becoming stir crazy with trying to stay indoors to keep me company no matter how many times I said it was not necessary."

Without even having to place his chopsticks down, Kaito managed to convey the words 'they're just worried about you' with a look of his face.

"I know, I know." Taking another bite of his food, "just...I'm not used to having them around all the time."

Kaito reflected the same sentiment with fondness in his eyes, no doubt thinking back to how his own mother had babied him during his own recovery. The rest of the meal passed in companionable silence as they enjoyed the food.

Once everything had been consumed, Kaito took to clearing the table leaving Shinchi with his usual cup of coffee. Shinichi stared into the dark liquid and decided to add milk and sugar into his cup instead of drinking it black like usual. It was out of character for him, and it was an action that drew attention from Kaito who had been in the process of rinsing soap suds from a plate. Shinichi's eyes focused on the rush of water from the tap, clinging onto the soap bubbles as it flowed down the plate and into the drain, as his mind wandered off into the past.

 _The red that had once soaked his shoulders were slowly running down the chair and tainting the clear puddle beneath to a pinkish tinge. The lab was silent after hours upon hours, and possibly days, of questioning. Shinichi's uncooperative nature had Them decide to cut their lost and had left Shinichi to sit by himself. The only consolation they made was to put the bomb where Shinichi could see, giving him the false hope that he could escape and disarm the bomb in time to reduce the damage and possibly gain new information. But Shinichi knew it to be a lie, a beautiful lie but a lie nonetheless. It was cruel mercy._

 _Shinichi watched as the red letters ticked down by the second. He barely had any strength left to move an inch, let alone trying to escape. He waited for the timer to hit zero and braced for the pain that followed. The first sound of explosion came as expected and had managed to catapult Shinichi away, seat included. The seat smashed into the ground, breaking some of Shinichi's impact. He managed a pained grunt when his back hit solid ground. He must have passed out at some point for the next time he opened his eyes, he found the room had been encased in red flames. He tries to move his hand and found himself unbound. The initial impact must have destroyed his restraints to the point that allowed movement. Carefully, he extricated himself and crawled towards the only exit in the room as the fire roared around him. Several containers could not stand the heat and Shinichi heard cracking and glass smashing, but he paid no mind as he focused on making his way across the room. His crawl was slow going and he could just see the closed door within his reach. But the floor beneath him gave way before he could touch the door itself and he felt himself falling into darkness below._

A thump snapped Shinichi back into the present. Shinichi saw the small stack of manila folders presented to him. Kaito stood to the side with hands on his hips and a frown on his face. Shinichi ducked to avoid the piercing gaze that insisted on him speaking out his mind. He did not want to cause further worry in the magician, not wanting to bother him unnecessarily.

Kaito seemingly having read Shinichi's thoughts had thumped him in the back of his head.

"What was that for?!" Shinichi rubbed the sore spot with an accusatory stare, earning him a flick to his forehead instead. The message was clear.

'You're being an idiot.'

"I'm fine. Just, you know what today is right?" Shinichi glanced over to the calendar again, this time taking note of the date and month instead of the various scribbles on the white background. It was probably another reason why his parents decided to leave him on this day, knowing that he needed the space and time alone. But Kaito stayed with him, not out of obligation but more out of concern. The magician knew first hand what excessive silence would be like on an overactive mind.

Kaito sighed and sat back down, magicking out a cup of coffee that was more milk than coffee. The magician intended to keep him company, making sure he was not left alone for too long. Especially given how he spaced out too often this afternoon.

"I just...if you did not arrive when you did on the day. I would be…" Shinichi shook his head as the image of broken columns, destroyed interiors, smoke and flames invaded his mind again. "But at the same time, the cost…" He glanced upwards at the light scarring near the left side of Kaito's neck. Although this was not what resulted in the lost of voice, it was a physical reminder of what had happened. Like Shinichi's legs, they were a permanent reminder to the event.

Kaito reached over, placing his hands over Shinichi's. The warmth was intoxicating and addictive, Shinichi could not help but let out a small smile. Kaito was not blaming him for anything, nor was he accusing Shinichi of doing something stupid. He was there offering comfort and protection.

"I wanted to thank you, but at the same time apologise. I have done it before, but I was incoherent then, with all the medication and pain…"

 _Shinichi glanced about, panicking, as he could not recognised where he was. The room was too white, too quiet with only the constant beeping in the background, and smelling too much of chemicals. He last remembered was falling and crashing, concrete and smoke, flames and sounds of crumbling. To be left somewhere without all that, Shinichi was not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing._

 _At the soft rustling to the side, Shinichi turned, wincing at each flare of pain. He noticed a bed of brunet hair resting on the white sheets. In the sofa behind laid Ran, covered with a wool blanket. Her eyes were closed and Shinichi felt fear coursing through him, he was afraid something had happened to his childhood friend as Ran seemed too still and he quickly tries to scramble out of the bed._

 _However, he could not go far as he only managed to topple over the bed. The sound of his fall startled everyone else inside the room._

 _Kaito lifted his head from his position, hands immediately brandishing the card gun as eyes took in every detail around the room. Ran, flung her blanket away in an instant, stance ready for an attack. When they noticed nothing, their eyes quickly zoomed into the empty bed._

" _Shinichi!" Ran called, hurrying to where Shinichi was trying to right himself. Kaito was immediately on his other side._

 _It was then Shinichi noticed the white bandaging around the magician's throat area and the wrist. Another line of bandage was just visible from the neckline of his shirt. Shinichi's eyes widened as he grabbed onto the magician's shirt with tight fist._

 _He could easily guess how the magician came by these injuries, especially since his last fading thought before passing out was a flash of white._

" _I'm sorry." He apologised, leaning his forehead heavily onto the magician's chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He continually repeated. It was his fault that the magician was hurt. It was his actions that had marred the otherwise flawless skin. It was him that pushed the magician to come to his aid. If Shinichi had not left his final message with Kaito, or KID at the time, then none of this would happen. "It was all my fault."_

Kaito's smile said everything to Shinichi, that he was not blaming Shinichi for everything that happened.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness." He muttered, hands already reaching the top folder of the pile. Kaito had brought these in for a reason, to distract Shinichi from focusing too much on the past. Being busy was better than lingering too much on the 'could haves' and 'should haves' even if this method was just postponing the mental pain.

A noisily exhaled huff drew Shinichi's gaze back towards Kaito, who signed 'you're my friend, a partner, and my rival. You'd do the same for me.'

"Still…" Glancing down at pictures of crime scene, Shinichi could not help but feel useless. This was what he was reduced to, helping from the sidelines and never again be on the field because not only was it dangerous for him to do so, but he could not help anyone anymore.

" _What are you saying Doctor?" Shinichi asked from his position on the bed. Ran was sitting on his left on the bed, holding tightly onto his hand. Kaito was on his right, on the plastic chair that was designed to be as uncomfortable as possible. His parents were hovering nearby as the doctor gave his verdict._

" _From your statement to the police, and from our diagnosis, the fall was the main cause of your injuries to the spine and legs. It was a miracle in itself for you to live through it, a small price to keep on living. Though the use of your legs…" The doctor looked up from his charts once more. "It's not promising. With the amount of damage, you're more likely to spend the rest of you life on a wheelchair. The best you could hope for is the ability to walk short distances. But even then, I think the probability of recovery is very low."_

 _Shinichi felt Ran tightening her hand around his as his mother sobbed quietly._

" _I'm sorry Kudo-kun, but that is the best news I can bring to you." There was a hint of regret in the doctor's eyes and Shinichi knew no amount of ranting of unfairness could right this._

" _Wait." He called back the doctor before he had a chance to leave the room. "What about…" Shinichi glanced to the side where Kaito sat silent. It was unnerving for the magician to remain so for an extended amount of time._

 _Kaito nodded at the doctor, most likely allowing the doctor to breach the patient-doctor confidentiality clause in front of the current audience. There was hesitance before the doctor spoke._

" _Kuroba-kun, he's...there were superficial damage to the neck and back area, slight hairline fracture in the clavicle and scapula and…" He glanced over at Kaito once more, receiving a more affirmative nod. "Kuroba-kun has lost his ability to speak."_

" _What…" His own voice came out a little more than a whisper._

" _We're unsure of the reason, but from the information the police has provided us, the place where you were held used to be a chemical laboratory. When Kuroba-kun came to rescue you, he must have inhaled it in excess."_

" _But...I was there the whole time. Surely, my own voice would also be…"_

" _My guess is that you kept too low to the ground to have inhaled the chemical mixture. Whatever it could have been, it reacted to the heat in the air and lingered higher in the room. If you kept to the ground, you wouldn't have been affected as much. Just as a precaution, we also ran a test on you and found that you too had burns to your throat. Not as severe as Kuroba-kun but still enough to have caused aches."_

 _Shinichi would not have known whether there had been a sore throat seeing as he had been in a chemically induced coma for a past week after having woken up once in a delirious state. Though now that the doctor has mentioned, he had been quite thirsty lately and his throat had itched more than usual. He had initially contributed that to the fact they were inside the hospital filled with antiseptic and other irritating smells._

" _Then is it possible to heal it?" Shinichi sounded hopeful. He dearly wished for it to be true, to cure the magician of this lost of voice._

 _The doctor shook his head. "The damage is too severe. Maybe as time passes, he could regain some form of a voice, but it would be strained and barely be above a whispering sound."_

 _Shock was not enough to describe the feeling Shinichi was having. He turned to look at Kaito, who sat still in the seat and avoided all forms of eye contact. Reaching out, Shinichi took Kaito's hand and held it to his forehead. Startled eyes looked back at him._

" _Please forgive me." Shinichi felt wetness streaming down his face. "It's my fault."_

The warm hand returned again, this time stilling Shinichi's as it tries to turn the page. He had not been reading the information on the paper, rather letting his eyes skim through the words and having them processed in his mind without his own intervention. Apparently, his right hand had made notations on the page without his input.

"Sorry, I'm...I just…" Shinichi purposefully loosened his grip on the pen and let it fall back onto the table with a distinctive _clack_. Kaito patted on the back of his hand to signal that he too understand the feeling of helplessness. However, instead of moving away, Kaito rose from his seat opposite Shinichi and grabbed the files. "Kaito?" Shinichi asked as he was being moved away from the table.

Kaito wheeled him into the den, where beanbags were set up on the floor in a cozy formation close to a coffee table. The magician purposefully parked the wheelchair close to the door before heaving Shinichi up into his arms.

"Kaito!" Shinichi remained still instead of struggling, not wanting to cause Kaito to lose his grip. The cheeky grin on the magician's face brought a shudder to Shinichi, knowing full well Kaito was planning something. Whether that something is good or bad, is dependent on the receiver, though Shinichi figured it would be something to distract him from his thoughts.

Setting Shinichi upon the soft cushiony beanbags, Kaito took several steps away before giving a superfluous bow. It was the only indication before puff of smoke transformed the casually dressed Kaito to a professional magician in a navy tuxedo. Shinichi ignored the pile of folder at his elbow and focused his attention on the magician's act. His eyes were immediately drawn to the white gloved hands.

" _What happened?" Shinichi tugged at the magician's sleeve the moment Kaito sat on the visitors chair. He noticed the sudden increase in bandages on the magician's wrist. Kaito quickly tugged the arm out of reach, pulling on the sleeve to lengthen it further and hide the white bandages. But Shinichi was not deterred. Rather, he reached out once more, ignoring the jabbing pain on his shoulder. He forcefully pulled the magician's hands to his laps, causing Kaito to nearly topple over on top of his legs. Not paying attention to his struggles, Shinichi pulled back the sleeve to reveal pristine white bandages on the wrist that extended to the middle of the palm and halfway up the arm._

" _How…" Kaito had visited yesterday and there were no bandages then. For it to suddenly appear now had alarmed Shinichi. He was positive that injuries are difficult to come by on the wrist, especially so since hands were a magician's livelihood._

 _Kaito avoided all forms of eye contact and renewed his struggle from Shinichi's grasp. There was a hint of surprise from Kaito to see Shinichi holding tightly onto the injured arm._

" _Why?" Shinichi could not understand the reasoning behind this willful injury. "Kaito…" He reached out to physically touch the magician's face, only for him to flinch away. Lost, Shinichi did the only the available to him, and pulled Kaito into a hug despite his own physical pain. "I'm here. I'll always be here if you'll have me."_

 _Kaito trembled in his arms and Shinichi dared not to release his own grip. Gently, he patted Kaito on the back._

" _We'll be fine. We'll…live..." Even as the words tumbled out of Shinichi, he could not believe them himself. Last night was the first night that he was fully aware of his surroundings and without someone there beside his bed. The quietness was stifling and many times Shinichi had wanted to leave the starched bed but realised too soon that he could not move as he had before. He had stared long and hard at the motionless half of his body, a reminder of the stupid choices he made. It was in that instant he wondered what other use he had to the world if he could not catch the criminals he pursued. Why should he stay at a place where he would never be able to use his skills again. He was so tempted, in the darkness of the night, to do something to stop his thoughts from venturing too far._

" _Kaito." He whispered into the ear, "we'll get through this."_

Kaito produced a dove from the dark top hat, a mockery of the rabbit-out-of-a-hat trick but it had Shinichi smiling. It was a simple trick but when Kaito pulls it, it felt like it could have been actual magic. Though it was no wonder seeing as his skills had landed him several performances in large hotels and across the city.

"Say, don't you have a show coming up?" He asked, petting the dove that had landed onto his lap. Kaito quirked an eyebrow. "I remembered the Suzuki's invited you to do a show."

'I refused it.' Came the gestures in quick motion. He instant-changed back into his usual clothing before flopping onto the nearest beanbag. Once he was comfortable, Kaito rested his head on Shinichi's legs and Shinichi's hand quickly gravitated from the dove towards the head of soft brown hair.

"Why? You'd be able to make all sorts of connection." Shinichi proceeded to gently smooth out the locks, though it did not want to stay down for any extended amounts of time much like its master.

Kaito shrugged and turned to look into Shinichi's eyes, hand already reaching up to caress the cheek in soft motions. His fingers were surprisingly soft for someone who practices and refines magic tricks. There were barely any noticeable callouses on the fingertips, nor were there any hard skin around the nail and thumb. Shinichi could not help but wonder how the magician managed to keep them so supple and soft.

"You're missing out on many opportunities." Never once did Shinichi tries to avoid the touch or the gaze. "It would have done you good."

Without removing his hand, the look Kaito gave him was a clear message of 'Are you an Idiot?'

"What? I'm right. You wanted to become a magician since you were young so…" A finger on Shinichi's lips stopped further words.

'I'm staying.' Was all Kaito signed back before snuggling further into the beanbag and let his eyes droop. Shinichi took that as a sign to stop his questioning and took the first of the manila folders from the pile to begin working on old cases to ease his frustration.

 _No matter how many times he tried, his legs would not move a single inch. His grip on the support railings had loosen due to sweat that had gathered in his palm and he quickly fell down onto the soft foam beneath. Nurses came quickly to his assistance but he chased them away with a single glare. They lurked nearby, just on the edge of the foam padding but never coming any closer._

 _Shinichi reached up once more to the metallic rails that would have been at around shoulder height if he were standing tall, but they were too high from his current height. From his position, he was reminded of his time as Conan, where he could not even reach the lowest cupboard for a cup or the handle to the door. Frustration built up beneath his icy exterior as he reached up once more, not caring for the possibility of ripping open his stitches again. The Nurses and Doctors had been quite frantic in his first therapy session, where he ripped open many of his wounds in his attempts to gain some sort of motion._

" _Kudo-kun, please stop straining your body…" A brave nurse approached him but he literally growled. It scared the nurse back into her previous position and she watched with frightened eyes as Shinichi half crawled, half dragged himself towards the metallic pole at the end of the railings. He was determined to try again._

 _His arms ached as it tries to support his whole body on the rails. The shoulder wound was definitely feeling the strain and Shinichi figured there was still a bit more time before he ripped the stitches open again for the upteenth time. Just as he tried to slide along the rails again, a hand came to his shoulder and held him back. Shinichi was about to growl at the intruder but was met with concerned amethyst instead._

" _Kaito." Immediately, Shinichi felt all his strength had left him but Kaito was quick in reflex and caught Shinichi before he fell again. "What are you doing here?"_

 _Kaito nodded at the nurses nearby before giving Shinichi a stern look._

" _They called you?" Shinichi slumped into the foam. Kaito nodded as he knelt down and scooped Shinichi up by the knees and supported his back as he carried Shinichi away from the apparatus. The nurses seemed relieved the minute they stepped away from the foam padding._

" _Put me down! I'm not a baby!" Shinichi struggled in Kaito's hold, pushing against the chest and leaning as far out as possible to disrupt the center of gravity so that the magician could release him. Unfortunately for Shinichi, Kaito's grip was strong and he had the upper body strength to resist Shinichi's action._

 _No matter what Shinichi did, Kaito strode out of the therapy room with Shinichi in his arms. They walked until they reached the inner courtyard, and he finally set Shinichi down in the shade offered by the peach blossom tree._

" _Why are you doing this? I was so close!" Shinichi thumped on the magician's chest as he bent down to cover Shinichi's useless legs. "I was so close…"_

 _Instead of moving away, Kaito came close to hug Shinichi, pulling him into his chest as Shinichi heaved and gasped for air._

Shinichi felt warmth spreading from his stomach area. Tearing his eyes away from the information, he saw the magician fast asleep on his lap facing Shinichi. Absentmindedly, Shinichi reached down to brush away the strands of Kaito's fringe. A smile appeared on his face when he saw brows scrunched up and Kaito turning away from the sensation.

Shinichi re-focused his attention back towards the papers and words, mind suddenly clearer with the magician contently in his lap. Time flew by as he studiously worked through the stack of manila folders that Division One had sent over for him to consult. He might not be able to become an active field agent any more, but the TMPD were determined to involve Shinichi as a detective consultant. Though that might have a lot to do with how the other international agencies were all willing to overlook Shinichi's disability and recruit him.

" _Kudo-kun." Megure approached the hospital bed. "How are you feeling?" He made a circuit around the room, paying close attention to all the nooks and crannies. He made an inspection of the windows and curtains before running a hand over the furniture in the room and on the hidden edges._

" _Same as usual." There had been a break-in to his room during his time in therapy a few days back, where they found his previous room to have been ransacked. Further inspection by officers revealed the room to have been planted with a bomb. Shinichi should have expected his pursuers to come looking for him but he still felt guilty for having nearly caused harm to so many innocents. "How did the investigation go?" He remembered hearing a report on a serial murder in TV but he did not have enough information to go on to help solve the mystery._

" _Slow going as usual without your help Kudo-kun. Which brings me to the purpose of my visit." Megure sat down at the newly vacated visitor chair that Kaito had been occupying for the past several hours. The magician had left to attend to his own therapy session, something that Shinichi insisted Kaito to do given what happened so far._

" _We, as in the TMPD, wanted to officially hire you as an external consultant." He declared. "I know that you've been doing things pro-bono until now but we feel much easier knowing you're under our employment."_

 _Shinichi was stunned though somewhat suspicious at the sudden turn of events._

" _Why now?" He was curious. After all, he had been the unofficial-official consultant to TMPD ever since junior high._

 _It was clear the inspector was quite embarrassed as he scratched his mustache. "If it were me, I would have hired you after the first few cases you've solved. But management liked to drag their feet and well...there had been rumours."_

 _Raising an eyebrow, Shinichi decided not to speculate but patiently wait for the elder inspector to continue._

" _After your involvement with the international syndicate, several agencies have approached us to make contact with you. Given the syndicate is still on the loose, we decided not to release your whereabouts even though they still managed to find out. My officers turned away quite a few of those agents at the door, seeing as we did not recognise them on sight. And well...one thing led to another and those acronym agencies wanted you for their own."_

 _Shinichi did not know whether to laugh or to be angered by the censoring but he did appreciate the fact Division One had taken such measures to ensure his safety._

" _Let me guess, the superintendents were afraid I'll stick with the Americans now that I'm…" He motioned towards his legs. "Given that they have better benefits and are more accommodating."_

" _Nothing can get pass you can it Kudo-kun?" Even Megure smiled. "However, we're not insisting you join, just that it would be beneficial."_

" _Well, I did consider striking out alone after graduation. So being connected with the police is a plus. How much time do I have to think it over?"_

" _Are you hoping the Americans to approach you?" Megure teased, both knowing full well that Shinichi would rather stay with the Japanese than go overseas._

" _See what they would offer I guess. Better to have something to barter with."_

" _I agree, push up the price. They're treating you too much for granted." If Megure thinks so, it must be true. No need to give those higher-ups such an easy time seeing as they always pushed those on the field. Shinichi even felt it at times, how some high profile cases had those higher-ups breathing down his own neck. It was an annoying gesture and maybe he can score some payback in this way. "Well, I won't bother your rest anymore. And I think Kuroba-kun is coming back soon anyways. Better let him have his own seat back."_

Kaito poked at Shinichi's cheeks, eyes still slightly dulled with sleep.

"What is it?" Letting the sheet of paper rest on the nearby coffee table, Shinichi directed his attention to the laying magician. "You know, I should complain. My legs are not your personal pillow."

A cheeky grin had Kaito righting himself up, leaning back into the beanbag instead of half over Shinichi.

'Dinner?' He signed after glancing over at the clock, 'it might be a bit early to start but I have nothing better to do.'

"Like I said, you could always take up the offer of performing…"

'And like before, I've refused. It's the principle of things, not to go back on one's words.' Kaito then thumped Shinichi softly on the head. 'And I'm staying.'

"Aren't you always." Shinichi shook his head with affection, returning his attention to the case file. It seems as though he had been looking at the same case for the past few hours and never having any headway. Though he contributed this to his continually straying mind.

'What do you feel like having?' Kaito stretched languidly, shirt hitching up as arms rose above his head. 'Curry?'

"That does not need you to start preparing right this minute." Shinichi glanced at the clock again, it could be barely called early evening. "And I remember we brought some instant packets last time we went shopping, so we could always just heat that up."

Kaito stuck out his tongue and scrunched up his face. There was no way Shinichi could misinterpret the meaning to anything other than 'those thing's are nasty'.

"You were the one who picked out the brand last time. Remember? I was all the way at the end of the aisle when you put them into the basket." Shopping trips were one of the very few things Shinichi felt he could contribute. It was an activity that he felt more useful than just sitting around, reading case files, and solving them from the security (and comfort) of the house.

 _The first time he left the mansion was under supervision from Ran and Kaito, who both insisted that he should not be left alone. There was a near catastrophe in the bathroom when Shinichi's hands slipped on the guard rails that had him falling onto the tiled floor. Thankfully he did not crack his head but it sent Kaito to a panic, which meant a hasty trip to the hospital._

" _I can go to the groceries by myself." He shook his head, arms resting on his lap as Kaito wheeled him further towards the shopping district. "You have to prepare for your show Kaito and Ran has classes. There's no need…"_

" _Shinichi, we're not about to let you be run over by a car, or abducted by helpful strangers!" Ran scolded from beside him._

" _Hagase made upgrades to the wheelchair, I'm armed." He waved his wrist at Ran, showing off the tranquilizer watch, along with motioning for the few buttons that would activate certain defensive measures on the wheelchair. "I know I'm not as agile as before." He muttered under his breath. He might have come to terms with this new reality but there was still some part of him resenting his current predicament._

" _Shinichi...I'm sorry. I don't mean…" Ran immediately knew what was wrong and physically shied away and out of grabbing distance._

" _Ran, I don't...I'm not blaming you." Shinichi fidgeted in his seat. A comforting hand rested on his shoulders and he glanced up to concerned eyes. "I know. I know." There really was no need for Kaito to say anything as Shinichi could easily read the atmosphere. The magician was offering comfort at the same time he was telling Shinichi that they do not blame him for the sudden mood change._

 _Everyone had expected this change would not go smoothly, the physical transition such as modifications to the house and the wheelchair were easily dealt with. The change in lifestyle was slightly harder as Shinichi had a strict physical regimen to follow to ensure he is somewhat fit. But the emotional side of things, it buoyed frantically depending on the topic and the company Shinichi was having. Though it was more stable when the magician was close at hand, which is the same for Kaito as well. Being in each other's company managed to stave off the more depressive thoughts and prevented them from falling too far._

" _Ran, it's ok. I've come to accept it. If it this was a small price to pay for peace, then I'm willing to pay. Not that I'm going to like it for a while but I'll live with it." He managed to snag onto Ran's wrist._

" _Sor…"_

" _Don't apologise. It's not your fault that I'm in this situation. If anything, it's my own fault that landed me here." Shinichi looked at his clenched fist, the whites of his knuckles were showing from the tension. "What use am I like this to anyone. If only…"_

 _Stopping at the light, Kaito stretched his arms further to envelope Shinichi in an awkward hug. The handles must be digging into the magician's hip but he did not pull away._

" _But didn't you say that you're on the TMPD payroll now? No one can match you in deductive skills, that's what makes you so valuable to everyone." Ran tries to reassure Shinichi but it did not have the intended result._

" _I'm better on the field than I am off, much like in soccer. I'm a player, not a manager." It was not so much as regret but more like bitterness at never being able to run around the grassy field, enjoying the sun and the exertion from kicking the ball around, the lost of satisfaction on a scored goal. It was things he took for granted before but now, all lost to him. "Being on the sidelines, never...stepping onto the field again. It's just not me."_

 _Lost for words, it was Kaito who managed to bring Shinichi back to the positive side with a small tap on his shoulder and the soothing movement of the wheelchair. Even if he said nothing, just being there was enough. Or perhaps it was because Kaito understood the feeling of destitution that became the strength for Shinichi._

 _Without his noticing, they entered a bakery, most likely Kaito's intention all along as Shinichi remembered the magician wanting to try out their newest creation._

There was a sweet smelling scent in the air as opposed to the smell of curry that Kaito had been promising to make. Curious, Shinichi shifted so he could attempt to peer out of the doorway and into the kitchen, even though it was impossible to do so. There was no hint of what the magician was up to except from the constant background noise and clanging of cutlery.

"What are you up to Kaito?" Not having any more patience, Shinichi reluctantly voiced out his curiosity. "You're not trying to concoct a sleeping powder or something are you?" He would not put it past the magician to continue creating chemical mayhem even though it would not be used in a heist setting. But from what Shinichi had heard from Hakuba, the magician had a penchant for pranking, mostly on the unsuspecting but with a focus on law enforcement and detectives. He wondered whether he should warn the station ahead of time just in case.

Kaito returned to the sitting room with a tray, ladened with cookies and two mugs of hot drinks.

"A little bit late for a snack isn't it?" Still, Shinichi made a motion for the food and drink. Nibbling on the cookie itself, he found they were not really all that sweet. Perhaps Kaito took into account of his avoidance to sweet things and had adjusted the sugar levels.

Kaito shrugged, taking his place once more on the beanbag and leaning heavily onto Shinichi's side as he grabbed a cookie.

"I thought you were baking a cake." Shinichi remembered seeing a cake tin inside the oven, though the magician could have put both cookie and cake inside that large oven of theirs.

The smug smile told Shinichi that yes, the magician had a cake in the oven as well as the cookies. Though that led to more speculations of whether the magician had also put their dinner in the oven at the same time as well. If it were something slow cooking, there is a high chance for Kaito to multi-purpose the oven. It would take a lot of calculation on time and temperature but it would have been a walk in the park for the ex-thief.

"They're nice though. New recipe?"

Kaito shook his head before poofing a small green leather bound notebook. He flipped several pages before presenting it to Shinichi. It was a handwritten recipe and Shinichi recognised the writing on the page.

"Ran's recipe? She wrote it down for you?" Shinichi looked up in askance for further examination and Kaito placed the book in his hands.

'She said you loved them once, but complained they were too sugary. I toned it down.' He took another cookie and bite into it. Shinichi just noticed there were several types on the plate; the plain light brown ones that he assumed were butter cookies, the chocolate chipped ones, the dark brown ones with possibly dried fruits, and a replica of the one he was eating which turned out to be a double chocolate cookie. Shinichi was never much of a chocolate lover, not liking the sweetness, but these ones were surprisingly palatable. 'So?'

"They're nice." It resulted with Shinichi nibbling more of the confectionary in his hand. "But I think you've baked too much." The dozen cookies on the plate were most likely a fraction of what had been produced today and Kaito would have stored a stockpile in some plastic container, hidden in the shelves, waiting to be devoured. "Unless you're planning something…"

A smile morphed onto Kaito's face, from a small tender smile to a rather crazy grin that is reminiscent of the KID grin.

"You're planning another outing again aren't you?"

 _Life in the mansion returned to a semi-normal state now that Shinichi was finally used to the new lifestyle. He still had some difficulties with maneuvering the wheelchair around tight corners but otherwise it was fine._

 _He could easily go into the library, pick up many of the books on the shelves, courtesy of the Professor's modification of the wheelchair that now comes with an extension arm the hides itself as a handle a majority of the time. A small booster was even installed for a quick chase though the design flaw was it lacked any form of steering, the Professor was still working on this particular function. There were others as well, such as the addition of electro-shock should someone attempt to wheel Shinichi away without his consent, and a small tranquilizing pistol installed into the armrest. All in all, it was a weaponised vehicle._

 _However, this particular morning found Shinichi sitting inside a car instead of resting on the bed. The sun was not even out when Shinichi looked out the window. With a small panic, Shinichi tries to free himself from the seat belt. Only to be stopped by a hand on his chest._

" _What the?! Kaito! Don't scare me like that!" Kaito offered a small apologetic smile in return. Even after half a year, Shinichi was still paranoid. It did not help that there were still agents of the Organisation still on the loose, still bent on doing something to the person who brought down the Organisation's key players._

 _Kaito strapped himself into the driver seat and pulled out of the driveway. The car had been something Shinichi's parents had insisted on buying and leaving in Kaito's care, stating they will need it. Shinichi had never seen the use for it seeing as he rarely ventured beyond the Kudo gates._

" _Where are you taking me?" Though to be honest, Shinichi thought it was about time the magician tries to haul him out of Beika district._

 _The twinkle in the amethyst eyes promised to be fun and interesting and that Shinichi would enjoy himself. Not given any other choice, Shinichi settled in his seat and drifted off to a light nap._

 _A shake of his shoulders and Shinichi found himself seated on his wheelchair once more. They were heading up a mountain of all things and Shinichi briefly wondered if it would slide back down without an ounce of control once they reached the top._

 _The view from the peak was spectacular, with dawn just on the horizon and the sun just peaking slightly to barely a sliver. The city was still asleep as the streetlights began to flicker by the block. It was a mesmerizing view and Shinichi was pleasantly surprised that Kaito took him here. What was more surprising was how a picnic setting had been laid down at the optimal viewing location. Shinichi slowly lowered himself over the blanket, taking the time to become comfortable as his eyes were drawn towards the waking city of Beika and the impending sunrise._

 _Kaito slide beside Shinichi and they both used each other as support, shoulder-on-shoulder as they took in the view._

"As long as you're not planning to kidnap me in the middle of darkness, I'm fine." Shinichi knew full well it was useless to dissuade the magician. It was better to just go with the flow. "But a little warning would be nice."

'Where's the surprise in that if I warned you beforehand?' There was amusement in Kaito's eyes, to which Shinichi nearly groaned. He might be used to the antics, it still does not mean he liked surprises. Shinichi was rather fond of routine normalcy instead of spontaneity, even if he could be spontaneous when required.

"I've…" Shinichi bit his lower lips when Kaito focused all his attention on his face. Worst still was the lack of something to do with his hands or some sheaf of paper to hide behind. "Do you...regret saving me…knowing what I've become..."

The moment of silence was very unnerving as Shinichi waited for an answer. His mind automatically drifted towards the dusty smell of smoke, the eternal redness of flame.

 _Shinichi struggled to open his eyes. His could practically hear his blood rushing in his ears as his head radiated pain. His chest felt like it was on fire for every breath he took and his lower half of the body felt as though someone took a hot iron rod and replaced every bone in his body with it. He felt wetness sticking to his skin, no doubt from the still open wound on his shoulder and his own blood was pooling beneath._

 _Shinichi dared to angle his head upwards, seeing the large hole and concrete steel bars protruding. He figured he fell two or three storeys and it was sheer luck that he was still alive even if he felt death was imminent. But before the thought even left his mind, a second explosion sounded. Without strength to protect himself, he watched morbidly as fire suddenly sprang forth from the sides of the large opening. The walls creaked and cracked around him and none too soon, he heard the telltale sounds of something breaking apart. Within moments, the pain in his lower body renewed and Shinichi managed a scream._

 _Fire crept slowly from his periphery vision but there was nothing he could do. Shinichi tried to turn but his body was trapped beneath a large concrete slab, pinning him down. With another slab beneath him, Shinichi suddenly had the urge to laugh as he thought how much of a hamburger he felt like at the moment; a slab of meat between two 'buns'. But no amount of amusement could help ease the pain, nor would it allow him to escape. As the fire inched closer, Shinichi held a hand to his mouth and nose, hoping to gain a few more moments to live. He coughed from inhaling too much of the smoke and whatever chemicals were being stored on site. The combination irritated his throat and Shinichi struggled to breath. He knew the combination would most likely have detrimental effect in the future._

' _Not that I'll leave this place unscathed anyways.' He thought to himself, eyeing the creeping flames and falling rubble. He knew it was a matter of time before it was his end. His vision faded and focused inconsistently and Shinichi knew he must have passed out but regained consciousness, most likely due to some new rubble falling onto his already battered body._

 _In what seems like an eternity in this physical hell, Shinichi spied a flash of white. He could still see the roaring flames surrounding them but the white shone even brighter than the flames. Then the pain intensified before Shinichi felt a sense of relief and knew the concrete was off his body. He then felt something wet placed over his own nose and mouth, feeling daring he looked up to see KID in a soot covered suit. The top hat was missing and instead of the mischievous grin, it was replaced with a relieved smile._

" _We'll be out of here in no time Meitantei." There was a rather hoarse quality in his voice and Shinichi thought something must be wrong with his ears. Not having any strength left, he merely closed his eyes. He hoped the magician thief could at least leave this place unharmed, maybe if he were stronger, Shinichi would have forcefully told KID to leave him alone. But he was not strong enough and he did not resist when he felt himself being shaken on the shoulders. Cracking an eye open, the pair of amethyst eyes was glistening with unshed tears._

" _Don't give up on me now Shinichi! You contacted me! You were hoping to make it out of here alive! Don't you dare give up!" KID placed an arm beneath his knee and Shinichi whimpered, having lost the strength to scream. "There's nothing I can do about the pain, please bare with it. Please."_

 _With KID begging continuously through their escape, Shinichi stayed conscious enough to feel cool air hitting his skin. But ultimately, he lost the battle to keep his eyes open when he saw the night sky and the twinkling stars. The feeling of freedom was calming him. If his life was to end now, Shinichi would have no regrets._

Kaito lightly tapped on Shinichi's shoulder before signing, 'stop thinking too hard. I'll never regret my actions and I'll never blame you for sending me a message. Rather, I feel privileged that you wanted to rely on my strength.'

"But...I…" Shinichi glanced down at the light scar on the neck and shoulder joint, just peeking out from the neckline of the shirt. It was one of the few injuries Kaito sustained when carrying Shinichi out of the burning building. Apparently, a steel beam hit Kaito on the shoulders, it caused fractures that took its sweet time to heal. Thankfully, it did not hinder the magician's skill in his craft much.

'Injuries can heal, drastic changes can be overcome. But life, once lost, it's lost forever. So no. I don't regret that I had to use my voice to exchange for your life.' Kaito took Shinichi's hands in his and led it to where his throat was. He held Shinichi's palm against the skin before releasing. 'If I were faced with the same decision, I'd do it again without hesitation.'

"Kaito…" Shinichi was beyond thankful for the magician's timely save. He wondered if it would be too presumptuous of him to give the magician his own life.

'I don't need any type of reward you know.' Kaito signed, as though reading Shinichi's thought. 'I did it because I want to, not that I'm expecting any sort of payback. Besides, you've helped me as well.'

" _Kaito?" Shinichi knocked on the doorframe to the kitchen. Kaito had been silent for so long that Shinichi was afraid something must have happened. Having stealthily left Shinichi with a cup of coffee on the study table in the library, Kaito had disappeared. "Is everything alright?"_

 _Kaito's eyes were wide as he held in his hand a sharp paring knife._

" _What are you planning on doing with that?" Shinichi wheeled himself closer. To which Kaito took a step back, hitting his hip on the counter. Once Shinichi had Kaito cornered, he held out his hand for the knife. There was hesitation from Kaito as he handed the cutlery over. "What brought this on?" It had been quite a few months, to be more precise ever since Kaito had started taken the role of minding for Shinichi, that the magician's suicidal tendency had resurfaced._

 _Kaito's eyes were drawn towards an innocent white sheet of paper and envelop on the bar counter. Shinichi's eyes followed the course. He wheeled himself over and had to stretch up to take the paper. It was an invitation for performance._

" _That's wonderful news!" Shinichi knew Kaito had always wanted to become a professional magician but was always held back by the KID business. Now that the retirement heist was in the final planning stage, something that Shinichi was also helping out in, it was time for Kaito to step into the spotlight._

 _Looking at Kaito's face, Shinichi knew it was not as simple as it sound. "You have more than enough gigs to string it together for a full fledged performance, there's no need for worry."_

' _But...I…' Kaito touched his throat to signal his inability to speak anymore. 'And a show without any sort of talking...it's…'_

" _While I agree you might want to introduce yourself, there are shows without the magician saying a single word. If you're really concerned, I'll be your voice." Shinichi asserted. "Though once people saw you perform, I don't think they'll be bothering. Your magic is always an overload of senses, so what if we don't hear your voice explaining or weaving stories? Your acts are more than enough to make up for the lack of narration."_

 _Moisture glistened at the edge of the magician's eyes and Kaito swept down to for an all-encompassing hug. Shinichi comforted Kaito the best he could, patting him gently on the back. In the end, Kaito's current predicament was Shinichi's fault._

' _You'll really be my voice?' He asked with halting signs. 'You won't go back on your words?' There was a sense of childish innocence to Kaito's face, as though he was afraid Shinichi would just leave him._

" _Of course I will be your voice silly." This time, Shinichi initiated the hug, "and I'll always be your voice for as long as you'll have me."_

Ever since that exchange, Shinichi had always been at the backstage to all of Kaito's early performance. It was with the more recent performances that Shinichi appeared less, where guests actually prefer Kaito's performances to be without voice but with only carefully selected background music to set the scene. Shinichi was, of course, glad for the change that the fans insisted but he did miss the chance to view the magician's performance from behind he scenes. Though if Shinichi actually voiced this out, Kaito would undoubtedly bring him to each and every performance and set a special seating area aside for Shinichi.

Lost in the sense of content, Shinichi did not notice when Kaito lift him up from the beanbag and placed him back into the wheelchair. He was then given a cardboard box.

'Something for you to do while I prepare dinner. About time you stop with the case files.' Kaito left Shinichi sitting there in the middle of the corridor. The door to the den, and subsequently the case files, was closed shut. Kaito would most likely have locked and boobytrapped the door and Shinichi had no interest in testing out that hypothesis. Looking at the box in his hand, he realised it was a box of bird seeds. Chuckling, Shinichi slowly wheeled himself towards the doors to the garden and the outdoor aviary where Kaito's doves were kept.

"Doves are said to lead people towards the island of peace in stories." He whispered to the doves surrounding him inside the coop, several had taken perch on Shinichi's wheelchair and one in particular was nuzzling against Shinichi's cheeks. He rubbed his finger against the one on his shoulder, who gave a rather satisfied coo. Just by being inside the aviary with them gave Shinichi a sense of peace, he wondered if this was his very own island. An island shared with a certain magician that was beloved by the doves.

 **-END-**

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A/N: Still want a sequel?


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